The realm of friendship is a space where our most unfiltered versions come to life. It’s a sanctuary where we need not think twice before embracing our true selves, free from the pressures of pleasing or impressing others.
Yet, the harsh reality is that such deep connections don’t come with a lifetime warranty. Surprisingly, the pain of a friendship breakup can sometimes surpass that of a romantic relationship.
Did you know that spending more than 200 hours with someone can lead to a close friendship? When a close friendship ends, it hurts—a lot because the deeper the bond, the harder it is to cope with separation.
What happens when this bond breaks?
When there is no contact?
- Questioning yourself: Especially, when there is a lack of closure. Constantly, asking yourself, “Where did I go wrong?”
- Finding it hard to move on: When fear of losing someone you were so attached to comes true, it leads to separation anxiety. You feel lost.
- Guilt:Friends are the family we get to choose. You start questioning your choices. You regret sharing your true self with someone toxic.
- Insecurities and lack of trust: This hampers future relationships, as emotionally investing in someone new becomes a challenging task. It is common for adults to find it hard making new friends compared to when they were young because as you age, distinguishing between real friends and fake people gets harder.
Friendships change over time. However, what we seek in a friendship does not. The feeling of wanting to be fully yourself in front of your best pal.
6 key reminders to help you cope and move forward
1. There is no timeline to friendships: Losing out on a childhood friend can be hurting. Sometimes a person you have known for barely a year can make you feel at home, a lot more seen and heard than a toxic friend.
Effort is what matters, not time. A long-term friendship might not last but a short-term friendship could be the beginning of a healthy long-term bond.
2. You are lucky:And not the other way round. In life, some people come for a specific time and leave. They can either become a good memory or a lesson. Both ways, it benefits you.
People evolve and friendships change. And most of the time, it is for the good. We make just 29 real friends in our lifetime and usually 6 of them last the distance. And those are the people that matter, not the 23 you lost.
3. There are other people: We are surrounded by several relationships. But often we end up focusing on the ones that make us feel like the world is ending. But it’s not! In reality, there are people who want to see you win; people who are rooting for you.
Friendships are really important for our physical and mental health. So, one bad ending should not stop you from making fresh beginnings. Give a chance to yourself and those who deserve you.
4. It is not supposed to be pressure: The constant pressure of trying to stay in touch can be stressful. True friends can go without talking for days but will make time for you when needed. Upon reconnecting, you pick up right where you left off.
It’s better to be without someone who makes you feel guilty for not calling them. Remember, if they want to make time, they will.
5. A space where you can be your authentic self: True friends let you be your most unfiltered self. You do not have to think about putting a font when you are with them.
It is better to let go of a relationship where you have to mask your feelings and emotions for the sake of pleasing others.
6. Give it time: And watch yourself move on. Take all the time you need but do not dwell in the sadness. Life is too short to miss people who do not deserve you.
There are so many things to look up to life for: Songs, books, your favorite cup of coffee! A little change in focus and some time are all you’ll need, and eventually, you will move on
Growth beyond goodbyes
Though it’s hurting to watch friends leave, it’s also okay to let them go. Healing is not quick, yes, but eventually, it happens.
There are so many good things ahead of you which include a lot of new and more loving connections. So, don’t keep drowning yourself in pain because someone chooses to leave.
May We Suggest a Playlist?
Songs can be our best friends during a heartbreak. Sometimes we are hopeful and sometimes we are sad. Here is a curated playlist for all your moods.
