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Bride price is a vital aspect of traditional Nigerian marriage ceremonies. It serves to solidify the couple’s union and connects the families of both the groom and the bride.
Traditional marriage is practiced in various countries across Africa, such as South Africa and Ghana. This ceremony brings together extended families, friends, and communities to celebrate the union.
We live in an interconnected world, where people connect in many ways, both physically and online. Today, technology has bridged the gap of distance, making the world feel like a global village.
Many individuals from different countries meet their spouses on social spaces like Facebook and Instagram. According to a 2013 study by social psychologist J. T. Cacioppo, the Internet is responsible for approximately one in three marriages. As a result, the incidence of interracial marriages worldwide has surged.
Love transcends culture, religion, and ethnicity. The harsh truth is that, as humans, we cannot control who we fall in love with. Have you ever been captivated by someone charming? Suddenly, you find yourself thinking about this person every single day!
Many Nigerians have married Oyinbo’s (foreigners) from places like America, Britain, France, Asia, and Europe. As popularly said, Nigerians are social beings who easily embrace diverse cultures.
The Cultural Relevance of Bride Price in Nigeria: Why It Matters
The custom of bride price is deeply rooted in Nigerian culture and has existed for centuries. Initially, it was viewed as compensation for the bride’s family for the loss of a contributing member, as well as a gesture of goodwill from the groom’s family. However, over time, this tradition has evolved to represent more than just a financial transaction; it is now a meaningful act that honors the bride’s family.
Today, the bride’s family considers several factors before determining a fixed amount for the bride price, including the family’s prestige, the bride’s education, the honor associated with the union, and tradition.
The bride price indicates to the bride’s family that the groom is well prepared for marriage; further emphasizing values such as respect, commitment, and family unity, which are integral to Nigerian wedding traditions.
Additionally, the bride price represents the groom’s appreciation towards the bride’s family for raising a wonderful daughter and acknowledges the time and resources they invested in her development, such as her education.
The presentation of the dowry is highly symbolic. It honors the bride’s family for nurturing her and signifies the groom’s promise to love, provide for, protect, and cherish his future wife. In this exchange, both families recognize the dowry as a vital step in sealing the union and supporting the marriage journey.
The Importance of Bride Price in Nigerian Weddings:
1. It Helps in Building Relationships Between Families: The Nigerian wedding dowry tradition helps strengthen ties between the two families. The ceremony is not only about the couple but also about forging a more robust bond between their families. Dowry negotiations help to foster a deep connection when families mutually agree on the bride price.
2. It Symbolizes Commitment: The bride price serves as a profound indication of the groom’s appreciation for his bride and her family. It represents his dedication to their union and respect for cultural traditions. By providing a bride price, the groom acknowledges the significance of the bride’s role within her family and community, signaling his intention to care for and honor her throughout their marriage.
3. Emotional and Social Impact: The dowry is viewed as a rite of passage for both the bride and groom, representing a moment of pride for their respective families. Furthermore, the exchange of the bride offers both families the opportunity to support the marriage and uphold tradition.
Today, many Nigerians married to American or British partners are choosing to simplify the dowry process, making it more seamless and better suited to modern lifestyles. Despite these evolving practices, the Nigerian wedding dowry tradition remains deeply rooted in culture and continues to play a significant role in wedding ceremonies.
The Heart of Nigerian Weddings: Unveiling Yoruba and Igbo Traditions
The Yoruba Tradition
The Yoruba tribe is one of the major ethnic groups in Nigeria, known for their vibrant and extravagant traditional weddings, particularly in Lagos. These celebrations, often referred to as “owambe” parties, showcase the richness of Yoruba culture.
The bride exudes elegance in her traditional attire, which beautifully combines a “buba” (blouse), “iro” (wrapper), “ipele” (shawl), and “gele” (headpiece). This stunning ensemble not only enhances her beauty but also reflects the rich cultural heritage of the occasion.
Meanwhile, the groom is dressed in an “agbada,” a flowing robe with wide sleeves decorated with embroidery, worn over a “dansiki” or “buba” (loose shirt) and “sokoto” (trousers), topped with a “fila” (cap).
Let’s explore the beautiful steps of a Yoruba traditional wedding:
Step 1: Welcome: A typical Yoruba wedding begins with a welcome address delivered by two women MCs representing both families.
The MCs, referred to as Alaga Ijoko (the sitting MC) for the bride’s family and Alaga Iduro (the standing MC) for the groom’s family, play essential roles in ensuring that the ceremony proceeds without any issues.
Prior to the engagement, both families meet for an introduction, during which the wedding date is selected, and they become acquainted with one another.
Step 2: Proposal and Acceptance: After the address, the groom’s family is asked to present a formal proposal letter, which is then read to the hearing of everyone by the youngest member of the bride’s family. Following this, the bride’s family provides an acceptance letter, signifying their approval of the union between the couple.
Step 3: Meet the Groom: At this stage, the groom makes his entrance, escorted by his friends. He dances to his in-laws’ place and, upon arrival, prostrates three times to receive their acceptance and blessings, and prostrates once to his own parents. This act symbolizes respect towards his in-laws.
Step 4: Meet the Bride: Next, the beautiful bride is ushered in, adorned with a veil and her traditional attire, along with her friends (referred to as Aso ebi girls) who dance joyfully. She kneels before her parents and the groom’s parents to receive their blessings before being unveiled to join her husband.
At this stage, the bride is instructed to remove the groom’s hat (fila) and wear it on his head. This act symbolizes her acceptance of the proposal.
Step 5: Eru Iyawo (Bride’s Gift): During this stage, the bride’s gifts are unveiled. Numerous wrapped gifts await her, and on the invitation from the Alaga Ijoko, she selects a gift from the variety presented by her in-laws.
Typically, she is expected to choose the Bible (for Christian couples) or the Qur’an (for Muslim couples), to which her engagement ring is attached. She then presents the ring to her husband, who places it on her finger, displaying it proudly for everyone to see.
Step 6: Bride Price: At this moment, the bride price is joyfully offered to the bride’s family, marking a significant step in the journey of union. This cherished custom not only symbolizes the marriage of two individuals but also beautifully weaves together the ties of both families as they come together to celebrate the lovely occasion of giving their daughter away.
Step 7: Cutting of Cake: The bride and groom, now officially husband and wife, are called by the Alaga’s to cut their traditional cake, known as “akara oyinbo” in Yoruba culture. This cake cutting represents happiness and joy, owing to its rich and sweet ingredients. Afterward, a photography session takes place, allowing guests to capture memorable moments with the happy couple.
Step 8: Party and Merriment: Finally, the bride’s father offers a prayer, marking the conclusion of the ceremony. The celebration concludes with love, greetings, food, music, and dancing, creating cherished memories for all involved.
The Igbo Tradition
The Igbo Tribe is one of the major ethnic groups in Nigeria, known for their business acumen. The men are often referred to as “Odogwu,” while the women are called “Achalugo.” Igbo traditional marriages are lavish events, where families celebrate with great enthusiasm and abundance.
Igbo women typically wear traditional attire made from indigenous fabrics, such as the bright “george or ” wrapper paired with a matching “buba” blouse, some might go for a traditional gown alongside a head wrap called “ichafu”.
Igbo men wear the “isiagu,” an embroidered top with significant patterns, along with trousers or the “akwete” wrapper, often topped with the “okpu agu,” a cap symbolizing masculinity and cultural identity.
Stages of an Igbo Traditional Wedding:
Step 1: Knocking (Iku aka): Every traditional Igbo marriage begins with the ‘knocking’ process, where the groom and a few family members visit the bride’s family, accompanied by an elder, usually the groom’s father. The elder uses metaphorical language to express their intent, saying they wish to pluck a beautiful flower.
The bride’s family playfully responds, unsure of which “flower” is being referenced. The visitors may either name the lady or compliment her attributes, helping the family recognize that the groom is referring to their daughter, Ogechi.
If Ogechi acknowledges knowing them and expresses interest, preparations for the marriage begin. The groom’s party then brings gifts and palm wine, while the bride’s family offers kola nuts and refreshments.
Step 2: Formal Marriage Introduction: The bride’s family will perform background checks on the groom’s family to ensure a good match. If satisfied, they will invite the groom’s family for a formal introduction. The groom should bring up to 20 family members, including women as the bride will likely engage with them more after the marriage.
During the visit, the groom’s family will confirm their intention to marry Ogechi, and she will again be asked for her consent. If she agrees, the marriage rites can begin. The groom’s party will present small gifts and kegs of palm wine, while the bride’s family will offer kola nuts and light refreshments in return.
Step 3: Negotiating the Bride Price (Ika akirika): In this stage, the head of the bride’s family will initiate communication with the groom’s family to schedule a date for negotiating the bride price.
The groom arrives on the agreed date with male relatives from his family. They may be prepared to pay the bride price outright or just come to negotiate. Only men participate in this negotiation process, where the bride’s family presents a list of marriage requirements, often referred to as the bride price list.
This list typically includes gifts for various relatives and significant figures who played important roles in the bride’s upbringing. The bride’s family usually cannot influence the content of this list, as it is dictated by traditional marriage laws.
Step 4: Paying the Bride Price / Igbo Traditional Marriage (Ime Ego / Igba Nkwu)
This step solidifies the marriage. The bride price or dowry, is an essential part of the traditional marriage rites in Igboland. Once paid, the couple is officially married.
The traditional marriage includes a public ceremony called Igba Nkwu, but the bride price payment (Ime Ego) is a private matter. During Igba Nkwu, the bride offers a cup of palm wine to her fiancé, Obinna. After accepting the drink, they meet the bride’s father and elders for prayers.
During an Igbo marriage, there is always an eyewitness known as (onye aka ebe). The bride price is given to this person (eyewitness) by the groom’s family, who then presents it to the bride’s father or a representative. Once the amount is confirmed as correct, the marriage is complete, and the bride goes home with the groom’s family.
Conclusion: Celebrating Tradition, Embracing Love
Bride price goes beyond symbolism; they represent values of respect, unity, and family essential to Nigerian culture. No matter where you are from—be it Nigeria, Britain, or America—love is a universal bond. And when combined with cultural traditions, it becomes even more beautiful!
Further Reading 👇
Maintaining individual values while creating shared ones is the foundation of a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Read this article to discover how couples can blend traditions in marriage to preserve their cultural heritage while building a unified life together.
