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In very traditional and cultural tribes, young girls are often encouraged, and at times, compelled into early marriages. Within these communities, it is widely considered a blessing when a young woman introduces a suitor into her home.
While this practice is praised as a remedy against promiscuity among women, Adanna’s story sheds light on the experiences of some young ladies and the reasons they chose to walk out of early marriages.
Adanna’s Journey Through Early Marriage
I am Adanna, the first child out of 5 siblings. My father has always considered me to be the pride of our family, and it was expected that I would bring home a rich businessman as a suitor.
When I turned thirteen, my mother had a serious conversation with me where I learned that I was betrothed to Chief Ebuka Onyema, one of the wealthiest men in our town.
I must have cried a tank of tears that night, but it didn’t change anything. I became Chief Mrs. Adanna Onyema a few months after my 17th birthday.
I still remember my first sexual experience. As much as I was a virgin, I had my expectations. My friends and I used to talk a lot about these things and I knew I had been cheated out of life after my first night as Chief Ebuka’s wife.
There was no honeymoon, no sweet names, no tenderness or cuddles—he was just a local man. After a few months, he would always ask me to let him know when I was ovulating because he thought that being intimate on days with no chance of pregnancy was a total waste of time.
I stayed home most of the time and the few times I stepped outside the gate, it was for market duties. I was a typical full-time housewife.
One day, Chief returned from a business trip in Abuja, and while I watched him consume a buffet of different meals that I always prepared, he told me about a successful deal and how his best friend’s son would be staying with us for a few weeks to oversee the new branch he’d be opening.
A few days later, Obiora arrived Lagos and that was the beginning of the end of my misery. He was young, tall, and dark. He had a dimple on one side of his cheek and was built like a man should be.
To top it up, Obiora was polite, well-spoken, educated, and neat. He always smelled so good and he knew just how to put his outfits together. He was usually out of the house as early as 5:30 a.m. every day except for Sundays.
Meanwhile, Chief had instructed me to take very good care of him; I didn’t need to be told anyway because Obiora deserved it and more.
After a month of his stay, Obiora and I became close. He secretly signed me up for an online course in fashion design and illustration and always encouraged me. It was obvious he saw more in me than Chief would ever see.
One beautiful evening, while we were watching an episode of The Vampire Diaries, the lights went out. Obiora went to start the generator but it wouldn’t come on, and in the process, his phone torchlight went out unexpectedly.
He ran back into the house, looking scared and that was when I realized he was afraid of the dark. I teased him about it, and we laughed into the night.
During this period, Chief was away on a trip to Dubai so I was free to be myself again. Obiora poured us some wine and entertained me with a mime of some old-school music. He pulled me up to dance with him and immediately I stood so close to him, I knew it would take a miracle to keep myself from losing control.
I raised my head, and our eyes locked into each other’s gaze. We moved from left to right, slowly dancing to the rhythms of our heartbeats. His hands sat softly on my waist while mine were wrapped across his back.
My heart raced as I felt him draw closer to me while the warmth of his breath flowed down my face. It was such an intense moment and the fragrance of his perfume wasn’t making things easy for me.
And when he whispered my name and asked, “Do you want to be with me?” I knew that it would take only an immensely strong will for me to resist such charm.
The next morning, I set the table for his breakfast, made a quick dash back to my room, and locked the door before he came out. Though we didn’t do anything, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him because I was battling with guilt.
I mean, a part of me wished we did because I was married to a man who only came to me to spin the luck wheel for a baby, but it still felt wrong. I stayed indoors till Obi left for work and spent the entire day without appetite, wondering if he would ever speak to me again.
Later in the day, I went in for a warm shower after setting the table for dinner. It was a cold evening and while I allowed the warm water run through my hair, I stood in the bathroom deep in imagination.
In my deep trance of imagination, I felt a presence in the bathroom, and as I turned around quickly, I saw Obi pulling his socks and stepping into the shower.
I was shocked to my bones and while I stood stiff, watching the water soak his shirt to reveal his glittering chocolate skin and well-carved torso, he placed his lips on mine.
Immediately, my tiny, hanging resistance flew out of the window. I kissed him with equal enthusiasm, pulled him closer, and stripped him of his clothing, one after the other.
While I continued savoring his lips, Obinna stroked my hair with one hand and teased my neck with love bites. He tried to talk but I didn’t want to judge myself within a few seconds of him confirming if I wanted him.
So he carried me to the bedroom and gave me one of the best intimate moments of my life—better than any story I had ever read.
After that night, Obi and I became so close. I couldn’t help but see that we are made for each other. And it’s not because of how he made love to me, but because of his genuine care and concern.
Though his time was up, he continued to give Chief one excuse after another just to stay. He wanted me to have a life and a bright future, and at that point, I couldn’t help but blame my parents and Chief for robbing me of my youth, education, prospects, the chance to build a career, and the experience of true love.
But how long could we continue hiding? Chief Ebuka found out about my affair with Obiora, got him arrested, and sent me back to my parents.
It was a messy situation, but something great came out of it. Obiora loves me and couldn’t bear to let me go, so his father got him released and we both moved to Abuja.
I’d say that luck found me because many friends of mine got trapped in early marriages and couldn’t escape. But look at me; I found love, I escaped, and I am doing well now.
I’m currently in my third year at the university studying business administration, while Obi runs a thriving business in the central city of Abuja.
As for my parents, they returned Chief Ebuka’s bride price to him after some cleansing, as required by our tradition. And in the next 2 weeks, Obiora and I will have our customary wedding, followed by the church wedding.
I admonish parents not to yoke their daughters into early marriage. A daughter is a precious gift, a light that should be allowed to beam and nurture mankind.
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I totally enjoyed reading this ❤
Proud of you Moria Babz 👏🏽👏🏽