|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
Is your WhatsApp group chat more draining than a Lagos traffic jam? You might be dealing with toxic friendships online. Let’s dive into the seven red flags that’ll have you hitting “mute” faster than you can say “jollof rice.”
You’re scrolling through your Instagram feed, enjoying some quality banter with your crew, when suddenly – bam! – you’re hit with a wave of negativity that leaves you feeling like you just ate some spoiled suya. That, my friend, is the unmistakable aroma of a toxic friendship in the digital age.
As Africans in the diaspora, our online connections are our lifelines to home and community. However, not all digital friendships are created equal. 
Some can be as refreshing as a cold bottle of Star on a hot Harmattan day, while others… well, they’re more like that mystery meat at your aunt’s last party.
Red Flag 1: Constant Criticism
You post a selfie-looking fly in your new Ankara outfit and boom – your “friend” drops a comment asking if you’ve gained weight.
Or maybe you share your excitement about a new job, and they immediately point out how you could’ve done better. This constant rain on your parade is more annoying than those “Can I call you?” DMs from strangers.
Criticism in small doses can be helpful, but when it’s frequent, it’s a problem. This behavior can chip away at your self-esteem faster than a knife through soft pap.
If your interactions leave you feeling worse than a Manchester United fan after a derby loss, it’s time to reassess that friendship.
Red Flag 2: Lack of Support
You’ve finally launched that side hustle you’ve been talking about for years. You’re more hyped than a Davido concert, but your timeline is quieter than a library during exam season. That silence from your so-called friends? It’s deafening.
True friends hype you up like you’re the next Dangote, even if you’re just selling second-hand clothes on Instagram. They’re your hype squad, your digital cheerleaders.
If your achievements are met with radio silence or half-hearted “likes,” that’s a red flag waving harder than a Ghanaian flag at the World Cup.
Red Flag 3: Jealousy and Competition
Your friend’s reaction to your success shouldn’t remind you of that auntie who always asks why you’re not married yet.
If every post about your wins is met with a subtle dig or a humble brag about their achievements, you might be dealing with a jealous friend.
Healthy competition can be motivating, like trying to outdo your cousin’s jollof at the family cookout. But when it turns into a constant one-upmanship contest, it’s time to call foul. Friendships should lift you, not make you feel like you’re constantly being tackled in a football match.
Red Flag 4: Manipulation and Guilt-Tripping
“I guess I’m just not important enough for you to like my posts.” Sound familiar? This is manipulation, served with a side of guilt, hotter than pepper soup.
It’s the online equivalent of your mom asking why your brother calls more often than you do.
Manipulative friends use your emotions like a remote control, trying to make you dance to their tune. They might use passive-aggressive posts, vague statuses aimed at you, or direct messages designed to make you feel bad.
It’s exhausting, like trying to explain to your American friends why rice and stew is a perfectly acceptable breakfast.
Red Flag 5: Inconsistent Communication
One day they’re blowing up your notifications like it’s your birthday, the next they’ve ghosted you harder than that Tinder match who found out you don’t have a British passport. This yo-yo communication is more unsettling than trying to guess if the meat in your soup is chicken or beef.
Consistent communication is the foundation of any good friendship, like onions in your suya spice mix – essential. If your friend’s presence in your online life is as unpredictable as the electricity supply back home, it might be time to reevaluate.
Red Flag 6: Overstepping Boundaries
You’ve made it clear you don’t want your photos shared without permission, but your friend keeps reposting your content like it’s their job.
Or maybe they’re tagging you in every single meme about being single, even though you’ve asked them to stop. This disregard for your boundaries is uncomfortable.
Respecting boundaries online is crucial. It’s like knowing not to touch someone’s hair without permission – basic respect. If your friend treats your boundaries like suggestions rather than rules, it’s a red flag redder than the sauce on your favorite shawarma.
Red Flag 7: Drama and Conflict
If your friend’s timeline looks like a Nollywood soap opera script, complete with vague posts, public call-outs, and more beef than a suya spot, you might be dealing with a drama magnet.
They turn every minor disagreement into a public spectacle, like those people who make a scene at the market over 50 naira.
Constant online drama is as exhausting! It drains your energy and can even affect your online reputation.
If you find yourself constantly mediating conflicts or getting dragged into online battles, it might be time to hit that ‘unfollow’ button.
In Conclusion
Navigating friendships in the digital age can be tricky, but by keeping an eye out for these red flags in social media interactions, you can ensure your online circle is nourishing.
True friends make everything better. Don’t settle for less in your digital relationships. And if you spot these red flags?
Well, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to hit ‘block’ and move on, like dodging that relative who always asks for money. Your peace of mind is worth it.
READ: Best Friend Quiz: How Well Do You Know Your Best Friend?
Best friends are like the family you choose. They’re the people you laugh with, cry with, and share your deepest secrets with. But just how well do you really know your best friend? Click here.
