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We’ve all been there: scrolling through social media, seeing your friend’s perfect vacation photos, gushing over their thriving business, exciting new job or promotion announcement, or blossoming relationship.
You then start feeling discontented and inadequate, while your heart burns with the desire for what they have. That feeling, my friend, is a pang of jealousy, which is a natural human response to such situations.
But instead of letting jealousy eat away at you, why not transform it into a driving force for your own success? This article will guide you on how to achieve that. But first, let’s understand why we compare ourselves to others. 
Why Do We Compare Ourselves to Others?
Social comparison theory, proposed by psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, suggests that we constantly evaluate ourselves by comparing our abilities and achievements to others.
This comparison often occurs within our social circles, especially with friends who share similar goals or backgrounds, serving an evolutionary purpose of gauging our standing within the social hierarchy and identifying areas for improvement.
Strategies to Transform Jealousy into Your Personal Motivator
1. Recognize and Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step to harnessing jealousy is to acknowledge it. Denying your feelings won’t make them disappear. When you see your friend’s achievements, take a moment to understand why you feel the way you do.
Are you jealous of their success because it’s something you desire for yourself? Recognizing the root of your jealousy is crucial in transforming it into motivation.
2. Shift Your Perspective
Instead of viewing your friend’s success as a threat, see it as proof that what you aspire to is possible. Their achievements should serve as a source of inspiration. If they can do it, so can you! Having this mindset pushes you to work harder towards your own goals.
3. Celebrate Their Success
Congratulating your friend on their success may seem counterintuitive when you’re feeling jealous, but it’s an important step. Celebrating others’ achievements fosters a positive environment and strengthens your relationships. It also helps you to focus on the positive aspects of your own journey, reminding you that success is not a zero-sum game.
4. Learn from Their Journey
Your friend’s success can provide valuable insights into what it takes to achieve similar goals. Instead of comparing yourself negatively, study their journey. What steps did they take? What strategies did they use?
Ask them questions and learn from their experiences. You can apply similar tactics to your own endeavors and increase your chances of success.
5. Set Clear, Achievable Goals
Jealousy often stems from a sense of aimlessness or lack of direction in your own life. Combat this by setting clear, achievable goals.
Break down your larger aspirations into smaller, manageable tasks. This approach not only makes your goals seem more attainable but also provides a roadmap for your success, helping you stay focused and motivated.
6. Use Jealousy as a Source of Energy
Jealousy, when channeled correctly, can be a powerful source of energy. Use the emotional intensity that comes with jealousy to fuel your efforts. Let it drive you to work harder, smarter, and more creatively.
7. Develop a Growth Mindset
Instead of seeing your friend’s success as a fixed point, you can’t reach, view it as an opportunity for growth. Believe in your ability to improve and develop your skills. A growth mindset encourages perseverance and resilience, key traits for achieving long-term success.
8. Seek Support and Mentorship
Don’t be afraid to seek support from those you admire. Their support can significantly boost your motivation and provide valuable insights into achieving your goals. Your successful friend can be a great source of mentorship and advice. Reach out to them for guidance and support.
9. Focus on Your Own Journey
Comparing yourself to others can be detrimental to your self-esteem and progress. Instead, focus on your own journey. If you diligently keep records, you’ll realize that you’ve achieved milestones worth applauding.
Celebrate them, no matter how small, and recognize your uniqueness as an individual. Everyone’s journey is different, and comparing yourself to others only distracts you from your own progress.
10. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool in combating negative emotions like jealousy. Regularly remind yourself of the things you’re grateful for in your life. This practice shifts your focus from what you lack to what you have, fostering a positive mindset. A grateful heart is more open to seeing opportunities.
In Conclusion,
Jealousy doesn’t have to be a destructive force. Instead, use your friend’s success as a source of inspiration and a learning opportunity. Celebrate their achievements while staying committed to your own journey. Success is not a limited resource; there’s enough for everyone, including you.
READ: How to Rewire Your Brain for Gratitude
Brain rewiring happens through a concept called neuroplasticity. Read this article for more insight.
