They Stopped Replying to My Texts: How to Deal

Your phone buzzed with a text from Kwame, that brother from Hinge you’ve been vibing with for the past couple of weeks. After your flirty back-and-forth messages, you made tentative plans for Saturday. But then…nothing. No follow-up text from him about nailing down details. They stopped replying to your texts and became painfully clear after 48 hours of silence. You were ghosted – again

Getting ghosted seems to be the new normal in today’s dating scene, especially among millennials and younger generations. A study found that 1 in 4 people have been ghosted before. You meet someone, either through a dating app, at a party, or get set up by friends. 

Things feel promising as you make plans to grab drinks or dinner soon. You’re eagerly anticipating that next hangout…only to get hit with radio silence from them. No courtesy “Hey, I’ve had a change of plans” or “You know what, I don’t think we’re a good fit after all”. Just…nothing. 

You’re left on read, staring at their Instagram pictures, replaying your last conversation for any red flags you may have missed. It’s a cowardly rejection tactic that leaves you disrespected and confused.

The 5 Stages of Being Ghosted

The emotional cycle of being ghosted tends to go like this:

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• Denial – The first 24 hours, you rationalize that they’re just busy at work or caught up with family stuff. You saw how constantly they were messaging before, so a delay isn’t that weird, right? 

• Obsessing – By day 2 with no word, you begin frantically checking your phone every 30 minutes, reading over your previous text exchanges again and again to see where you may have said something to turn them off. Your “We still on for tomorrow?” text still sits agonizingly unread and unanswered.

• Anger – Around day 3, it hits you – this person you were eagerly making plans with has 100% ghosted you and isn’t going to ever reply. How dare they disrespect you like that! You get furious at the childish behavior and vent angrily to your friends about how ridiculous modern dating is.

• Sadness – The rage turns to melancholy. Despite your fury at being ghosted, you can’t help but feel bummed and rejected over it all. You look back at the fun dates you went on together and the inside jokes you shared, questioning what you did wrong.

• Acceptance – Eventually, after obsessively stalking their Snapchat and Instagram stories, you realize there’s no point in wasting more energy on this person. Their silence speaks volumes about their immaturity and lack of human decency. It finally clicks – they did YOU the favor by revealing their true colors early before you got even more invested.

Dealing With the Ghosting

Once you identify and process all the feelings, it’s time to focus that energy elsewhere. Here’s how to truly bounce back:

Don’t Take It Personally

As personal as it may feel, remind yourself that their behavior has everything to do with their issues and nothing to do with your worthiness. If they were too cowardly to communicate their feelings like an adult, that’s a reflection on them – not you.  

Vent to Your Crew

When you’re upset, hit up the group chat! Having a solid, reliable circle to freely rant to about these toxic dating experiences is therapeutic gold. Let your friends hype you up and remind you why this inconsiderate scrub wasn’t worth your time anyway.

Delete/Block

Once you’ve vented it all out, take the final power move – delete their number, Snapchat, and any other contacts, and block them on all social media. Removing any trace of them from your daily life helps you mentally cut them off for good. Keeping avenues to check up on them or be reminded of them will only reopen emotional wounds.

Focus on Hobbies/Interests 

Use this frustrating experience as motivation to reinvest energy into hobbies and interests that empower you. Pick up those pandemic projects you put down like roller skating or African printmaking. 

Binge-watch that new documentary series you’ve been meaning to start. Dive back into salsa dancing meetups. Surrounding yourself with joyful, fulfilling activities is the ultimate glow-up.

Try New Dating Tactics

After you’ve had time to recharge and feel fresh confidence, carefully put yourself back into the dating scene – but switch up your approach. Maybe avoid dating apps for a while and try joining an in-person social club or getting set up through friends of friends. 

Establish firmer boundaries earlier, if someone exhibits shaky communication within the first few weeks, cut them off respectfully instead of waiting for them to ghost. Don’t settle for mediocre energy.

Conclusion: They Stopped Replying to My Texts! How to Deal

Getting ghosted never feels good, but don’t let it destroy your vibes! Feel all the feelings, heal all the hurt, and keep glowing.

Ain’t no haunted scrubs permitted in our energetic realms. Have you ever been ghosted? Share your experiences with me in the comments below.

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