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They say love conquers all, but when it comes to marriage, that’s not quite true. Having a deep emotional bond is essential – but thinking the emotional fireworks are enough to keep your marriage thriving long-term is a dangerous myth
Just look at some high-profile examples that prove emotional connection alone won’t sustain a marriage.
Beyoncé and Jay-Z had intense chemistry, but it took a lot more than just vibes to rebuild their union after his infamous “Becky with the good hair” cheating scandal nearly ended their marriage. Despite being “Drunk in Love,” the emotional roller coaster and rebuilding of trust required serious work. 
Or take Kenyan actress Lupita Nyong’o breaking it off with her love Selema Masekela late last year. Nyong’o announced her split from Selema Masekela with a lengthy Instagram post. From the outside, they seemed totally in sync.
The Hard Stats
The truth is, feelings naturally fade over time as the intoxicating “limerence” stage of a relationship gives way to a deeper partnership. Struggling emotional intimacy is cited as a top reason for splits – the Forbes Advisor Survey found that it is the cause of 31% of divorces.
But lack of family support (43%), financial strain (24%), too much conflict and arguing (31%), and infidelity (34%) also ranked as major culprits, highlighting how love alone won’t conquer all the practical challenges marriages face.
The Ingredients for Forever
So what extra ingredients beyond emotional bonds are key to making a marriage last? Aligned values and goals rank highly. Having a true partnership and unbreakable sense of being a unified team through all of life’s ups and downs.
Mutual respect and daily appreciation – never take your spouse for granted. And crucially, the vulnerability and commitment to work through conflicts constructively, not sweep issues under the rug until you’re sleeping in separate bedrooms.
The Russell & Ciara Way
When Ciara finally wed Russell Wilson after her painful split from rapper Future, she gushed that her new husband “respected” her boundaries and beliefs, including her desire to abstain from sex before marriage.
That willingness to honor each other’s values and show restraint despite their intense physical and emotional attraction strengthened their partnership’s foundation.
Angela & Courtney’s 25+ Year Blueprint
Hollywood marriages are notoriously rocky, but Angela Bassett and her husband Courtney B. Vance have defied the odds for over 25 years.
Vance has declared “We dig each other in a real way” emotionally. But he also credited their lasting success to maintaining independence, faith, open communication about conflicts, and regular date nights to prioritize quality time.
The power couple didn’t just settle for being each other’s muse. They put in the real, daily work to nurture all aspects of their marriage, far beyond the initial emotional high.
The Bottom Line: Why Emotional Connection Alone Won’t Sustain a Marriage
At the end of the day, emotional connection alone won’t sustain a marriage through all of life’s inevitable challenges. Nurturing that spark and soulmate bond is vital, but lasting partnerships require so much more.
Shared purpose and values. A truly supportive and practical partnership, maintained through ongoing effort and selflessness. And an unshakeable sense of being a unified front that weathers every storm together, side by side.
So by all means, revel in the butterflies and can’t-eat, can’t-sleep obsession of early love. Just never lose sight of doing the real, hard work to preserve your marriage – even when you’re over the moon infatuated.
Putting in that consistent labor and nurturing every facet of your bond is the path to forever love that stands the test of time.
READ: You’ve Found The One, But Are You Truly Supporting Your Partner’s Growth?
We’ve all heard that relationships need regular work and nurturing, but are you actively investing in helping your partner flourish and reach their full potential? Read here.
