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Caught your man double-tapping bikini pics again? Sis, many have been there – obsessing over who’s thirsting over their boo’s latest sweaty gym selfie. In this era of oversharing relationship deets on the ‘Gram, how do we set healthy boundaries for showing affection on social media? Let’s get into it!
Long before the days of Instagram models like Munatsi and Shakilla flaunting every curve, couples found scandalous ways to go public with their love. Think about it – from passing violently explicit love notes in Victorian times to raunchy 90s romcoms like She’s All That, where the guy does an indecent choreographed dance proposal.
Putting it all out there has always gotten people talking. Social media just gave the exhibitionists a new stage while making it easier than ever to be a lurking, judgemental auntie in other folks’ business.
The Data Doesn’t Lie
A 2022 study by the Pew Research Center found that a whopping 42% of teens admitted to feeling jealous or insecure about their relationship due to their partner’s social media activity. And it’s not just the young’uns – according to a study conducted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), more than 80% of divorce attorneys have noted a substantial increase in the use of social media as evidence in divorce cases. Yikes!
Key Aspects of Setting Boundaries for Social Media Affection
1) The Thirst Trap Continuum
From a basic boo’d up selfie to a full nude “accidental” belfie, there’s a wide spectrum of social media thirst traps out here. Remember when Rihanna broke the internet with that sheer crystal birthday ‘fit? Or Cardi B’s iconic money shower lingerie shoot? Discussing where you and your partner’s comfort levels lie on the Thirst Trap Continuum is step one.
2) Privacy, Por Favor
Social media defaults to overconsumption and oversharing, so you gotta set those boundaries. Changing your privacy settings, creating a private finsta or couple’s account to share spicy content, using group chats for special dates and trips – all solid moves to keep your relationship’s business low-key.
3) Purging the Pixstagrammers
Time for that unfollow game! Hitting unfollowing attention-seekers like reality stars, Instagram baddies, and other Instagrammers who promote unrealistic expectations can remove major sources of comparison, jealousy, and inadequacy in your relationship.
Words from the Wise
Relationship expert and author Jenna Birch advises couples to “discuss digital boundaries early and often in their relationship. Insecurity and jealousy almost always arise when partners have mismatched expectations about sharing intimacies online.”
At the end of the day, building trust and open communication are key for setting boundaries around social media affection that work for you as a couple.
As Love scholar Mandy Len Catron so eloquently reminds us: “Love doesn’t speak in likes or shares – make sure yours is being nourished in the real world too, not just in a perfectly curated social media fantasy.”
Conclusion: How to Set Boundaries for Social Media Affection
So for all my Diaspora kings and queens out here tired of policing likes and thirsty DMs, it’s time to have THAT conversation about setting boundaries for social media affection in your relationship. Your peace of mind (and feed) will thank you!
Let’s continue this discussion in the comments – what boundaries have you set in your relationship regarding social media? Any tips to share with the fam? Don’t hold back, let’s keep it 100!
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