I know that feeling all too well. You’re mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, catching a vibe to some Burna Boy when BAM – there’s a fresh pic of your ex booed up with some other person, looking entirely too cozy. Instantly, your blood starts boiling. But let me tell you from experience – overcoming jealousy is an inside job that’s worth taking on
Jealousy has plagued men since the dawn of civilization. Let’s go back to ancient Kemet for a second – we all know the story of Pharaoh Ramesses III having to deal with a whole harem situation.
Historians say he got so jealous of his secondary wives messing around with other men, that he had them all executed! Wild, right? Fast forward to modern times, and a 2022 study found jealousy to be a leading cause of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV).
My 6-Step Plan for Overcoming Jealousy
After going through some gnarly jealousy episodes after my breakup, I had to develop a foolproof strategy for overcoming those toxic feelings. Here’s what worked for me:
Radical Self-Truth
The first step is getting radically real with yourself. Were you genuinely at peace with the breakup and ready to move on? Or were you low-key still holding out hope and deluding yourself that you’d get back together? I had to shamefully admit I was still hung up on the idea of rekindling things before I could overcome jealousy.
Re-Anchor Your Self-Worth
Jealousy often stems from comparing yourself to the person your partner is dating. The person might be older, more successful, better body, the whole nine. But that’s a bottomless pit – there’s always gonna be a “better” person if you let yourself go there. I had to re-anchor my self-worth in my values, skills, and integrity, instead of measuring myself against her new fling.
Forgive (As Much As You Can)
Whether you want to admit it or not, letting go of anger, resentment or negative feelings towards your ex plays a big role too. As long as you’re still holding onto the past, jealousy gets fuel. For me, I journaled and did some intense meditation to process my lingering hurt and resentment until I could arrive at a place of understanding, if not full forgiveness.
Cut Them Off
Look, sometimes to overcome jealousy you gotta take a mental health break and completely cut your ex off – at least from social media. I went nuclear and blocked her and homeboy on everything – IG, Facebook, Snap, you name it. Suddenly not being constantly bombarded with their cozy couple pics together was a game changer. I also stopped going to any events or functions where I knew they’d be together just to avoid drama.
Get Centered
Jealousy often festers when we’re already in an unbalanced mental space. I knew I had to double down on self-care – daily meditation and journaling, surrounding myself with uplifting mentors and friends who could speak the truth, hitting the gym hard, and temporarily tossing any negative influences to the side. Getting re-centered and grounded allowed jealousy’s grip to slowly loosen.
Glow Up and Show Out
At the end of the day though, the biggest jealousy repellent is to become so intensely focused on leveling up every aspect of your life that your ex is an afterthought. I landed a new high-paying gig, hit the gym like a fiend, and got shredded – just constantly reinvesting in myself. The more I shined, the more her new boo became irrelevant.
Conclusion: Overcoming Jealousy Is a Battle We Must All Fight
Look, conquering jealousy when your ex moves on is a complicated process that takes time. But it’s a worthy pursuit for any man looking to truly become his best self. Once you Van Damme kick jealousy’s ass, you’ll realize your ex’s new situation could never diminish your self-worth.
The more you shine with confidence, the more they’ll be the ones catching jealousy issues over you! Just stay solid, constantly reinvest in yourself, and watch how that green-eyed monster turns into your biggest motivator.
READ: Love in the Time of Teamwork: Why Equality is the Secret to a Happy Relationship
Equality in relationships lays the foundation for love to flourish.
This article explores the concept of equality in romantic relationships, arguing that it’s the key to fostering a thriving partnership
