How to Thrive as a Single at 30 Amidst Social Pressure

The most beautiful part about being single at 30 is having this unprecedented window of opportunity to flourish exactly as your multipotential self desires.
The Love Central - How to Thrive as a Single at 30 Amidst Social Pressure The Love Central - How to Thrive as a Single at 30 Amidst Social Pressure
How to Thrive as a Single at 30 Amidst Social Pressure

You’ve made it to the big 30 and you’re still deliciously single. But before you can even enjoy a celebratory slice of cake, the comments and unsolicited advice start rolling in. From family WhatsApp groups to the aunties at Nigerian parties – everyone seems to have an opinion on why you aren’t barefoot and pregnant by now

Data shows that rates of delayed marriages are skyrocketing globally. According to a 2022 report by the United Nations, 83 countries had an average age at first marriage over 30 for men. And for women? The majority of European nations plus places like Hong Kong, Japan, and Taiwan saw averages over 30 too. The judgments are trailing way behind the times.

And there are so many logical reasons driving this trend beyond people just “failing to settle down.” More time is needed to get educated, build a career foundation, become financially secure, and understand oneself before committing to forever. Not to mention how the global economy and opportunities to move around impact timelines.

All valid points, but chances are your aunties hitting you with archaic takes like “Husband? Expired goods!” aren’t convinced. So to thrive as that rarity – a single person in your 30s in the diaspora – you’ll need strategic mindsets and habits to deflect the noise. Here’s how:

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Nurture your tribe take trips together and create those irreplaceable bonds Image source Pexelscom

1) Revel In Your Autonomy

Sis, have you taken a second to appreciate the unparalleled freedom you possess right now?! You don’t have to consider a whole other person’s schedule, goals, or finances when making major life decisions.

Want to quit your corporate job and start that eCommerce side hustle? No need to consult your non-existent partner! Tempted to move to Nairobi for a year on a whim to be closer to family? Grab that one-way ticket! Lean fully into this glorious autonomy over your time and path.  

2) Build Your Chosen Family 

Sure, not having a nuclear family unit can feel lonely at times, despite the perks of flying solo. That’s why it’s vital to construct your own “chosen family” of friends who’ll be there for life’s ups and downs.

Maybe it’s your day-one besties from undergrad who are scattered but always a call away. Perhaps it’s new communities you’re diving into, like those women’s hiking clubs or book groups that keep your social calendar poppin’. Nurture your tribe, take trips together, and create those irreplaceable bonds.      

3) Make Self-Love A Daily Practice

In between dating flops and fielding those invasive “Why are you still single?” questions, it’s easy to start harboring self-doubt. Prioritize daily reminders of your worth beyond relationships by cultivating bomb self-love habits

Wake up and journal about all the things you’re grateful for – your body, mind, friendships, passions, etc. Follow bad-ass African ladies who are thriving solo on social media as inspiration. 

Take yourself on weekly “self-dates” doing things you adore, whether checking out that new Naija play or hitting up a new running trail. Stay connected to what lights you up as the phenomenal individual you are.

4) Stand Firmly In Your Truth

Despite what your aunties keep repeating, there is no singular path or timeline for adulthood. Just because you’re 30 and joyfully kid and husband-free does NOT make you a failure or “weird.” Know that your happiness is valid and not up for dissection by randos. Don’t feel pressured to lead with explanations or defend your life choices.

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Take yourself on weekly self dates doing things you adore Image source Freepik

5) Stay Open To What Could Be

While reveling in all of single life’s perks, it’s wise to keep an open mindset too. Make it clear to your circle that you’re well-being solo for now, but you’d be stoked to meet someone amazing someday, sans any pressure or desperation.

Keep developing the skills to be an incredible partner – self-awareness, generosity, and compromise. And if opportunities to date people who truly complement you arise organically? Consider them with wise eyes and full enthusiasm. But boo, never a rush or settle situation! You’ve built an empowered single life worth savoring.

Conclusion: How to Thrive as a Single at 30 Amidst Social Pressure

The most beautiful part about being single at 30 is having this unprecedented window of opportunity to flourish exactly as your multipotential self desires.

To travel the globe freely, to pour into building the career of your wildest ambitions, to dive into new hobbies and communities, and to invest in soul-shifting personal growth. All without restrictions or having to uphold anyone else’s dreams over your own.

So keep slaying this season, queen. When the inevitable shade about your relationship status arises, pull up these mindsets. Because anyone who tries to box you into antiquated timelines and limited thinking has simply misread the assignment. Your chapter is just beginning!

READ: Sleepless Nights? Doctor-Approved Strategies for Calming Your Mind

But before you resign yourself to another night of tossing and turning, know this: there are effective strategies to calm your mind and enjoy a peaceful sleep.

This article explores some doctor-approved techniques to reclaim your nights and wake up feeling refreshed.

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