Marcus sat staring at his phone, thumbs hovering over the keyboard, but nothing came out. Three months. It had been three months since Zara stopped replying to his messages, stopped showing up to their usual spots, and stopped looking at him with that spark in her eyes whenever he walked into a room.
He hadn’t understood it at first. The way she began slipping away was so quiet, like water slowly pulling back before a wave crashes. One day she was right there, laughing at his dry jokes during group meetings, staying up until 2 a.m. helping him figure out stats he pretended to understand. And then… she wasn’t.
Now, in his tiny apartment with nothing but silence and his own thoughts, he finally understood what his friends had meant when they said, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” He used to roll his eyes whenever he heard that line, like it was just another tired lyric from a love song. But this wasn’t just losing someone. This was worse.
Zara hadn’t disappeared. She was still in his classes, still around their friends, and still even his partner for the final project. She was there. But not for him. And that kind of absence, the kind where someone’s body shows up but their heart doesn’t, cut deeper than if she’d vanished completely.
How It All Began
Two years earlier, Marcus wouldn’t have believed it if anyone told him the quiet girl with the bright laugh from Business Comms would one day mean this much to him.
She came into his life through a dreaded group project. He was used to being the one to carry lazy teammates, but Zara wasn’t like that. She walked into that first meeting with color-coded notes, a timeline mapped out, and ideas that made sense.
More than that, she listened. She didn’t talk over him. She built on what he said, and somehow made even the long, boring hours at the library feel like something he wanted to be part of.
One night, after four hours of cramming, she slid a cup of coffee across the table to him and said, “You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?”
He’d just nodded, even though she was right. He’d been carrying everything alone for as long as he could remember. But Zara had this way of lifting the weight without making him feel like he was weak for needing it.
From there, things just grew. The late-night study sessions, the inside jokes, the long walks across campus just to keep talking. Slowly, friendship rooted into something deeper, though Marcus didn’t realize it until much later.
But love has a way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it.
The Love He Didn’t Notice
The truth was that he’d been in love with her long before he had the courage to admit it.
It wasn’t some movie-moment realization. It was smaller and simpler. The way he felt uneasy if a day passed without her laugh. How he’d catch himself saving funny stories just for her. How his chest tightened whenever she was talking to another guy.
When it finally shifted from friendship into something more, it happened naturally. A late study night, her head on his shoulder, his hand finding hers, and then that kiss that felt so familiar, like he’d been waiting for it his whole life.
“I’ve been waiting for you to notice,” she whispered. And of course she had. Zara always noticed things before he did.
But maybe that was the problem. Once he had her, he forgot to keep doing the things that made her feel wanted.
And that’s when things started to unravel…
The Slow Fade
The cracks started small. He stopped sending those morning texts. Stopped planning coffee dates and thoughtful surprises. Stopped asking how she was, really. He told himself they were just comfortable now, that this was what love was supposed to look like when it settled.
But Zara noticed.
“I miss our coffee dates,” she’d say. He’d promise to plan one. Then forget.
“We don’t talk like we used to,” she’d whisper. He’d brush it off: “We talk all the time.”
“Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one trying.” That one would sting. He’d get defensive, list all the things he did do, but completely miss the things he’d stopped doing.
The truth was that Marcus knew how to chase love, but he didn’t know how to keep it. He thought once you found the right person, the rest would just work itself out. He didn’t realize love was daily work. Choices. Effort.
So when Zara began pulling back—slower replies, more time with her friends, a wall building where there used to be open doors—he didn’t see it for what it was.
Then came the moment that changed everything…
The Breaking Point
It didn’t end with shouting or a dramatic fight. Just a quiet conversation that changed everything.
They were sitting in their usual spot in the campus coffee shop, supposedly studying for finals, but the tension between them had been building for weeks. Zara had that distant look in her eyes that Marcus had learned to dread, and he’d been scrolling through his phone, half-listening as she talked about her plans for the upcoming break.
“Marcus,” she said suddenly, and something in her tone made him look up. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Do what?” he’d asked, though part of him already knew.
“This.” She gestured between them. “Us. Whatever this has become.”
He’d felt panic rise in his throat. “What are you talking about? Everything’s fine.”
But even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true. Hadn’t been true for months.
“I’m tired,” Zara continued, and for the first time, he really looked at her. Really saw the exhaustion in her eyes, the way her shoulders seemed to carry weight he hadn’t noticed. “I’m tired of being the only one who cares about us. I’m tired of feeling like I’m in this relationship by myself.”
“That’s not fair,” he’d protested. “I care. You know I care.”
“Do you?” she asked, eyes searching his. When’s the last time you planned something for us? When’s the last time you asked me how I’m really doing? When’s the last time you made me feel like you actually want to be with me, not just that you’re comfortable having me around?”
Marcus opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. Because he couldn’t remember. And in that silence, he watched something close inside her, a door shutting he hadn’t realized was still open.
“I love you,” she whispered. “But I can’t keep loving enough for both of us.”
And suddenly, the world he knew felt smaller, emptier, colder…
The Aftermath
The weeks after felt like walking through fog. She didn’t vanish from his life, and somehow that made it worse. They still had classes together, still moved in the same social circles, still had to work together on their final projects. But she became polite in a way that cut deeper than anger would have.
She’d smile when she saw him, ask about his family, and even help him with assignments when he struggled. But it was the kind of kindness you’d show an acquaintance, not someone who used to know all your dreams and fears.
Marcus tried everything he could think of to win his first love back: sent flowers to her dorm room, wrote long text messages explaining how he’d change, showed up at her favorite spots like old times. But Zara was firm. “I need space to heal,” she told him when he cornered her after their Business Ethics class. “And you need space to figure out who you want to be in a relationship.”
When he whispered, “But I want to be with you,” she shook her head gently. “You want to have me. That’s not the same thing.”
That night, Marcus broke down. He cried in a way he hadn’t since childhood, with heavy, chest-deep sobs. He cried for Zara, for the pain he’d caused her, for the love he’d wasted through neglect.
And somewhere in that grief, he understood the lesson he’d missed all along: love isn’t just a feeling you fall into. It’s something you build. Something you choose. Every single day.
Marcus has lost the love of his life, but this isn’t the end of his first love story. It’s the beginning, the hard road back to himself, and maybe, one day, to a second chance. Stay with me for Episode 2. While you wait, explore The Love Compass to learn more about your own love needs and preferences.
