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Love is a Choice, But Sometimes It’s Not Yours: The Reality of Arranged Marriages

Love is a Choice, But Sometimes It’s Not Yours: The Reality of Arranged Marriages
  • Arranged marriages have been a part of many cultures around the world for centuries
  • While the concept may seem foreign or outdated to some, the reality is that love is not always a prerequisite when it comes to choosing a life partner
  • In this article, we will explore the various experiences and perspectives on arranged marriages, with a particular focus on Africa

Love is a choice, but sometimes it’s not yours. This is the reality of millions of people around the world who enter into arranged marriages, where their families or communities decide who they will marry and when. 

Arranged marriages are often seen as a traditional and cultural practice, but they also have social, economic, and political implications.

The Love Central -
Arranged marriages are often seen as a traditional and cultural practice Image source Freepik

The Cultural Tapestry of Arranged Marriages 

Africa, with its rich cultural heritage, is home to a multitude of diverse traditions when it comes to marriage customs. Arranged marriages, despite their variations, are prevalent in many African countries. These unions are often influenced by social, economic, and familial considerations, rather than solely relying on romantic love. 

Examples from African Cultures 

  • The Swahili Culture: In East Africa, specifically in countries like Kenya and Tanzania, arranged marriages are still widely practiced. Families play a significant role in finding suitable matches for their children based on factors such as social status, educational background, and economic stability. 
  • The Igbo Culture: In Nigeria, the Igbo people have a long-standing tradition of arranged marriages. These unions are seen as a way of strengthening family bonds and ensuring community harmony. Love may develop over time, but it is not the driving force behind the initial match. 
  • The Amhara Culture: Among the Amhara people of Ethiopia, arranged marriages serve as a means of preserving cultural and ethnic identity. Marriages are often arranged by the parents and elders, with the focus placed on compatibility, shared values, and family lineage. 

Love amid Arrangement 

While it is true that love is not the primary factor in arranged marriages, it would be incorrect to assume that love does not exist within these unions. Love can blossom over time, as couples navigate their shared lives, build trust, and develop a deeper understanding of one another. 

Building a Foundation 

Arranged marriages provide a unique opportunity for couples to build a foundation based on shared values, mutual respect, and commitment. Love may not be the initial spark, but it can grow and thrive in a supportive and understanding environment. 

The Evolution of Love 

Love is not a static entity. It evolves and transforms over time. In arranged marriages, couples have the opportunity to witness and participate in the growth of their love for one another. It may not be the passionate love of a whirlwind romance, but it can be a profound connection that withstands the test of time.

The Love Central -
Arranged marriages typically involve partners who share common values beliefs and goals Image source Freepik

Challenges and Benefits of Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages are not without their challenges, as with any type of union. However, they also offer unique benefits that may be overlooked in societies where romantic love is considered paramount. 

Challenges 

  • Initial Adjustments: Couples in arranged marriages may face initial challenges in getting to know and understand one another. However, with a commitment to communication and compromise, these obstacles can be overcome. 
  • Expectations and Pressure: The expectations placed on individuals in arranged marriages can be overwhelming. Meeting the expectations of family and community can create a sense of pressure and obligation that may affect the relationship. However, this can also foster a sense of responsibility and accountability towards one’s partner. 

Benefits 

  • Strong Support Systems: Arranged marriages often come with the support and guidance of families and communities. This support system can provide a source of stability and guidance for couples, especially during challenging times. 
  • Shared Values and Goals: Arranged marriages typically involve partners who share common values, beliefs, and goals. This shared foundation can foster a sense of security and unity in the relationship.

Conclusion: What’s your opinion on arranged marriages? 

Arranged marriages, though different from love marriages, have their own strengths and intrinsic value. 

Love may not be the initial driving force behind these unions, but it can flourish over time. Africa, with its multitude of cultures, offers a window into the diverse perspectives and experiences surrounding arranged marriages. 

Ultimately, the reality is that love can be both a choice and a consequence of the intricate tapestry of arranged marriages. What’s your opinion on arranged marriages? 

The Power Players of The African Diaspora: A Spotlight on Influential Figures 

The African diaspora boasts a diverse array of accomplished individuals who have made significant impacts globally. From activists to artists, these figures embody resilience and innovation. 

In this spotlight, we’ll highlight some of these compelling personalities, celebrating their contributions to our shared narrative. 

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