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Marriage is a journey that extends well beyond the joyous celebration of the wedding day. This article delves into three crucial yet unexpected aspects of married life that couples should be prepared to navigate
I’m not married. I know, shocking, right? How can someone as charming, witty, and handsome as me be single? Well, it’s not for lack of trying.
But I’m not here to talk about my love life. I’m here to share some expert insights on the unexpected aspects of being married that you might not have thought about.
You see, I have a lot of married friends, and they often share their stories with me. But I also have some expert insights to back up what they say.
And I’ve discovered some fascinating facts, trends, and tips that can help you understand and improve your own marriage. Or, if you’re like me, prepare you for the day when you finally tie the knot.
The First Big Fight
The honeymoon phase won’t last forever. Eventually, you and your spouse will have a big fight. This can be scary and upsetting, especially if you’re used to getting along.
But a fight doesn’t mean your marriage is over or that you don’t match. It just means you’re two different people with your own opinions, preferences, and perspectives.
Lesli Doares, a marriage coach and author, says the first big fight teaches you a key truth about marriage: “You and your spouse, no matter how in love, are always separate people. Once you accept this, you can work with your differences towards a common goal.“
To overcome the first big fight, communicate, listen, and compromise well. Don’t let your emotions take over and avoid saying things you’ll regret. Focus on the problem and try to see your spouse’s side. Remember you’re on the same team and you both want the best for your relationship.
The Stress of Moving
Moving to a new place can be both exciting and stressful for married couples. It requires a lot of work and adjustment, which can affect your physical and mental well-being. It can also cause emotional reactions, such as nostalgia, loss, or anxiety, especially if you are leaving a familiar and comfortable place.
Stephanie May Wilson, a podcaster and author, shares how moving with her husband impacted their marriage: “A few years back, we had one of our hardest weeks. We moved into a new house that week—exhausted from the last months and sleep deprived. We were running on adrenaline and Starbucks. But when the movers and our family left, we were alone in a living room full of boxes, and we started to fall apart. We started to fight. They were small fights at first, but they piled up. We ended the weekend feeling disconnected and tense. We felt like time bombs, waiting for the next trigger.”
To deal with the stress of moving, Wilson suggests that couples should be kind to themselves and each other, and remember that this will pass.
She also recommends that couples should have fun and romance, even if it means pizza and a movie on the couch. Moreover, couples should thank each other and their new home, and celebrate their progress.
The Influence of Third Parties
A healthy marriage needs supportive relatives and friends. But some external relationships can harm your marriage and cause problems. A parent, friend, or child can interfere with your decisions, values, and priorities. This can cause conflicts and resentment with your spouse, and damage your trust and intimacy.
New York therapist David Tzall, PsyD, says how to protect your marriage from outside influence: “The first step is to talk openly and honestly with your spouse. Discuss how you feel about third parties and what boundaries you want. Define the roles and boundaries you want with third parties.”
For example, you may choose not to talk about some topics with your parents or friends, or not to let your children control your marital choices.
You may also agree to consult each other before making big decisions, and to respect each other’s views and wishes. By setting clear and healthy boundaries, you can keep your autonomy and your unity as a couple.
Conclusion: 3 Unexpected Aspects of Being Married
First off, know that no two marriages are the same. What works for one couple may not work for another, and that’s okay.
The important thing is to communicate with your partner, respect their needs and preferences, and support them through the ups and downs of life.
Marriage is not a fairy tale, but it can be a rewarding and fulfilling journey if you are willing to put in the effort and grow together.
Mindfulness Meditation for Beginners: A Step-by-Step Guide
Mindfulness meditation is the practice of focusing your awareness on the present moment without judgment. It’s a simple yet powerful tool for reducing stress, improving focus, and cultivating inner peace.
If you’re new to meditation, don’t worry! It takes time and practice, and this guide will walk you through the basics.