| Getting your Trinity Audio player ready... |
In many African cultures, it is considered taboo for young children to engage in romantic relationships. No African parents ever take light of their teenagers dating and having love relationships. They consider them kids and believe it is immoral of them.
Many African parents are watchful once their children hit puberty and in their teenage years. They closely monitor their friends, moods, movements, and body language, often going as far as choosing their teenagers’ friends to prevent undesirable influences.
At this stage, most parents forbid their teenagers, especially girls, from having relationships with the opposite gender out of fear that romantic attachment will lead to premarital sex.
Although dating does not necessarily involve sexual activities, parents worry that it may eventually lead to such behavior. There is a prevalent belief that tolerating teenage dating encourages premarital sex.
Ironically, while many African cultures frown upon teenage dating, they often tolerate and even encourage early marriage. This paradox reflects the complex and sometimes contradictory nature of cultural norms surrounding sexuality and relationships.
Although it may be impossible to monitor every aspect of a teenager’s life, it is crucial to provide them with guidance during this delicate stage. As a parent or guardian, here are some ways you can guide your teenager in navigating dating:
1. Encourage open communication
As a parent or caregiver to teenagers, you should create a place where your teenager can be free to discuss anything with you.
Encourage your teens to share their feelings with you. You can also ask them their thoughts on dating. By doing this, you are creating a space that allows your teenager to communicate without being judged.
2. Teach them cultural values
Teaching the kids culture and values is important. It makes them aware of society’s norms.
Remember the Bible passage that says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it?” Proverb 22:6 (KJV)
3. Educate them on relationship
Many parents avoid giving their teenagers sex education. They believed children at this age should be innocent. They should not know what sex is at this stage. But the world has evolved and the new generation is born curious.
So it is your duty as a parent or guardian to educate them on sex education. Let them know the consequences of engaging in it. Give them practical examples of what will happen if they engage in sexual activities.
4. Be their role model
Share positive examples of relationships within your community. Give them the qualities that make such a relationship strong and respectful.
Additionally, embody these qualities in your relationship with your teenager. Demonstrate kindness, communication, and mutual respect in your interactions, and they will emulate your behavior.
5. Be supportive
Be a supportive parent or guardian for your teenager. Let them know they can come to you for any concern that is bothering them. Create an open and trusting environment where your teenager feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or punishment.
Listen actively and empathetically to their concerns. Encourage open dialogue and reassure them that their emotions and experiences are valid.
6. Educate them on the consequences of early relationship
Teach teenagers the consequences of engaging in early relationships or dating. Provide examples of what can happen if they engage in sexual acts, highlighting the potential effects on their well-being. These may include both physical and emotional consequences.
Additionally, explain why dating is generally considered more appropriate for mature adults. Help them understand the responsibilities and complexities that come with romantic relationships and emphasize the importance of waiting until they are emotionally and mentally ready to handle such commitments.
Conclusion on African Parenting
Every parent dreads their children’s teenage years, often termed a period of storms and stress. This is when children typically develop a sense of self-awareness. They become curious and overwhelmed by their emotions.
However, as teenagers, they don’t fully understand these emotions. Hence, they need the guidance of an adult to educate them and help them navigate this delicate stage of their lives.
Read: Letting Kids Fail: The Controversial Approach to Raising Independent Thinkers
