Therapy is simply a space to get support, to talk things through, and to work on yourself. It’s not about “fixing” anyone because no one is broken. But for many, especially men, there’s still this idea that therapy is only for people who are falling apart. And this is entirely wrong.
From a young age, boys are often taught to “man up,” to push down their feelings, and to stay tough no matter what. And over time, that message becomes a belief that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
So, when life gets overwhelming, many men feel like they have to deal with it on their own. In this article, we’re taking a closer look at how Africans view therapy and clearing up some of the common myths that surround it.
How Therapy is Perceived by African Men
There’s this unspoken rule that when men face a crisis, they’re expected to handle it quietly, without seeking help. Society has made it so that admitting you’re struggling feels like failure. And in many cultures, especially within Black communities, vulnerability is often viewed as unmanly.
But the truth is, asking for help is one of the bravest things anyone can do. Therapy isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a path to strength, growth, and living a fuller, more authentic life.
In many parts of Africa, therapy is still seen as unfamiliar or unnecessary. Most individuals still find it extremely uncomfortable to openly discuss their personal issues. Even among educated men who understand the value of counseling, many are still hesitant to reach out for support.
Take, for instance, a common saying in African cultures is, “Don’t air your dirty laundry in public.” It reflects a deeply ingrained belief that personal struggles should stay private. And this contributes to the stigma around seeking help, especially for Black men.
When Therapy Became a Turning Point
The unspoken rule that men should never show vulnerability can have serious consequences on one’s mental health and even lead to suicide.
I know the story of a man called Jack. Jack lost his job and shortly after, his wife left with their kids. The emotional toll was so heavy on him that he slipped into depression. But instead of getting support, Jack was mocked. His own friends and family called him weak and told him to “be a man” and move on.
Jack’s pain was ignored, and the ridicule from his close circle only deepened his isolation. Eventually, Jack got to the zenith of his pain and attempted suicide. Thankfully, a neighbor found him just in time.
It was after this incident that Jack opted for help. He went through a proper diagnosis and underwent treatment that helped him rebuild his mental health and reclaim his self-worth. Today, Jack is thriving personally and professionally.
Sadly, many people are in similar situations or even worse but avoid therapy because of cultural beliefs that discourage men from showing vulnerability. Again, vulnerability is not weakness. There’s nothing shameful about seeking support. And that’s exactly why we’ll thoroughly unpack the myths that keep African men from going for therapy when they truly need it.
Six Common Myths About Therapy (And What’s Actually True)
1. Therapy is just for complaining
Many people think therapy is just a space where you vent your problems while the therapist listens. But that’s not all to therapy.
Therapy involves discussing your challenges and receiving a fresh perspective. This helps you to uncover underlying patterns and find new ways to resolve your issues. Therapists may also give you tasks to try between sessions to encourage new behaviors and thoughts.
2. You must be “crazy” to need therapy
There’s a common belief that seeking counseling means you are mentally ill. In reality, therapy is for anyone wanting to understand themselves better.
The truth is that many people who attend therapy are just like everyone else. They are capable and smart individuals who are seeking guidance with emotional struggles. And there’s nothing wrong with seeking such help.
3. Once you start therapy, you’ll have to keep going forever
Some men fear that engaging with therapy means a lifelong commitment. Although this fear is understandable, however, many therapy approaches are designed to be short-term and may only need a handful of sessions, depending on the individual’s needs and situations.
4. Therapists only give advice
Some people avoid counseling because they think they will be told exactly what to do. This is why most psychotherapists and counselors refrain from offering concrete “life advice” to their clients.
In fact, therapists focus on supporting clients as they work through their challenges. They guide clients to make healthier choices rather than giving direct advice.
5. The church and counseling are the Same
Many churches today are stepping in to provide counseling services, often to their members. While these sessions can be helpful for some, they are often led by people who may not have professional training in mental health. Despite this lack of expertise, some individuals prefer talking to their spiritual leaders instead of a therapist.
People sometimes think that both church counseling and therapy are similar because they both offer advice. However, there is a key difference. While anyone can advise you, only a therapist will seek to know the foundation of your concern. They help you explore how to move forward, practice self-acceptance, and build a healthier, more balanced life.
6. Men don’t cry!
Men have been told for ages that showing emotions, especially crying, is a sign of weakness. If a man is caught crying, his peers might tease him or call him names. To avoid that, many men hide their feelings and don’t seek help when they need it. They believe that talking about emotions is a feminine thing.
But they forget that men are human too! And it’s perfectly okay to feel, no matter what the emotion is. If you’re hurt or confused, talking about it matters. And if you’re not sure how to express what you’re feeling, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Everyone has emotions, and seeking support is one of the healthiest things you can do.
In Conclusion: Does Seeking Help Mean You’re Weak?
No! Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Recognizing that you need support and reaching out for it takes real courage, so don’t listen to the naysayers.
Think of therapy as a journey of self-discovery, one that comes with countless benefits, with the apex being living a healthier and happier life.
Further Reading 👇
Maintaining good mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical well-being. Read this article to discover some common red flags that could be quietly challenging your mental health.
