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Imagine finding your perfect match without wasting time on incompatible dates or awkward cultural misunderstandings. Sounds too good to be true? It’s not!
You’ve navigated culture shocks, and visa applications, and explained to your coworkers that no, you didn’t grow up with a pet lion. But nothing quite prepares you for the adventure of dating in the diaspora. It’s like trying to find fufu in a sea of mashed potatoes – possible, but tricky.
But don’t worry, my friend. We’re about to unveil 6 red flags in dating profiles so bright, they’d make a traffic light jealous. Let’s dive in! 
1. The “I Don’t See Color” Crusader
Watch out for profiles that proudly proclaim, “I don’t see race” or “Color doesn’t matter to me.” While this might sound progressive, it’s a major red flag. As a Ghanaian-American or Nigerian-British person, your racial identity is likely an important part of who you are.
Someone who claims not to “see” it may struggle to understand your experiences with discrimination or the complexities of navigating multiple cultures. You need a partner who acknowledges and appreciates your full identity, not one who ignores a crucial part of it.
2. The Jollof Rice Jester
Beware the profile that tries too hard with African references. If their bio says something like “Looking for someone to teach me how to make jollof rice” or “Ready to learn some African dance moves!”, proceed with caution.
While it’s great if they’re interested in your culture, these superficial references often mask a lack of real understanding. You want someone who’s genuinely curious about your Yoruba heritage or Akan traditions, not someone who reduces your culture to stereotypes or cuisine.
3. The Accent Aficionado
Run if you see “I love African accents!” in a profile. This fetishization of how you or your family members might speak is problematic. It suggests they’re more interested in an idea of you than who you are.
As someone who might code-switch between British English and Igbo, or American English and Twi, you need a partner who appreciates your linguistic mastery, not one who expects you to sound like their fantasy of an “African.”
4. The Remittance Dodger
If their profile hints at financial instability or a carefree attitude towards money, think twice. Comments like “Living life one day at a time!” or “Money isn’t everything” might clash with your values.
Many diaspora Africans have financial responsibilities to family back home or are focused on building generational wealth. A partner who doesn’t understand the importance of saving or sending remittances might cause friction down the line.
5. The “Fresh Off the Boat” Phobe
Be wary of profiles that emphasize being “Western-born” or make disparaging comments about recent immigrants. As a diaspora African, you might have close ties to family or friends who’ve recently immigrated.
A partner who looks down on “FOBs” or expects you to completely assimilate might not respect your connections to your home country or understand the complexity of your identity.
6. The “When Are We Visiting Africa?” Rusher
Approach with caution if their profile eagerly asks about trips to Africa or mentions wanting to “save” or “help” the continent. While interest in your background is good, this attitude often reveals a naive or patronizing view of Africa.
You need someone who understands that Lagos isn’t all mud huts or that Accra has thriving tech startups. A partner should be open to learning about the real, diverse Africa you know, not the one they’ve seen in charity commercials.
Conclusion: Red Flags in Dating Profiles
Remember, these red flags in dating profiles aren’t just about avoiding bad dates. They’re about honoring your unique experience as an African in the diaspora.
You deserve someone who appreciates your journey, respects your heritage, and is ready for a genuine connection. Now go forth and swipe with confidence!
READ: Ready for Love: A Black Millennial’s Guide to Marriage
Are you stuck in the situation, wondering if your perfect match is lost somewhere between Tinder and Twitter?
Or maybe you’ve found your ride-or-die but you’re shook about putting a ring on it? Grab your favorite bottle of palm wine and let’s dive into this Black Millennial’s Guide to Marriage!
